Who is as kind as a deer in your class?

Tonight at school I had the pleasure of doing phone-testing for two classes. My boss promised me it would take about two hours to call 30 kids. After being on the phone for three, I was able to get a hold of 21 kids. They said I can make up the other nine when I call for "two" more hours on Thursday night. Some of the questions which I found interesting were as follows:

Who is as kind as a deer in your class?
What do you use to dry your body?
How do you put out flames?
How did Warthog like his meat?
Make a sentence with the word "creep"

Bear in mind that I was asking all of these questions to kids I called at home late at night. It did seem a little awkward and strange to me but it's part of the experience. My favorite response of the night was when I asked a kid what his Mom looked like. He responded "My Mom looks like a dog." He was dead serious. I had another kid take about 2 minutes to find his textbook, and then while he was reading to me, he put me on hold for a minute while he did something. I gave him a bad score as payback so there!

On Sunday, I participated in yet another hash. It took place in Pinglin, which is a large tea-producing area in the mountains outside of Taipei. It was a gorgeous run, cutting through tea fields at the tops of lush mountains and scampering through thick jungle vegetation. Unfortunately, the bus I went on arrived around 30 minutes late so our group was WAY behind everyone. We did have to deal with a torrential downpour that lasted for at least 45 minutes. It was pretty crazy but a lot of fun too. It was definitely another one of those "this'll be a story" moments. Unfortunately, you really had to be there for the full effect. I did find out that earlier that day, the Taipei 101 stair climb was held and I'm pretty bummed I missed it. That would've been pretty cool to try, but probably absolutely horrible during it.

On Saturday, I went to the Baishawan beach again with Andrew and a few of his friends from Honduras and El Salvador. It was pretty fun having the opportunity to practice my Spanish for a day. In a way, I wish I was learning Spanish instead of Chinese because it's a lot easier, and then I wouldn't be wasting all the Spanish I studied in high school and college. Oh well, there's always the future I guess. Anyway, it's Tuesday night and I'm leaving for Australia on Saturday to see Kelly and the fam so I'm very excited, anxious, and agonizing over how slow time seems to move when a big trip approaches. Isn't it funny how that happens?

I have two more facts about Taiwan I'd like to share:

#1: Every cop car here always has its blinking lights on. Always! They do turn the siren on when there's actually a problem, just so you know the difference. Luckily, ha ha.

#2: At the beach on Saturday, it was totally packed. But then I was puzzled by the fact that first of all, you can't really swim in the ocean because of strong rip tides that surround the ocean. And second, Taiwanese do not like getting tan so they practically avoid getting sun exposure at all costs. This of course prompted the question: why are the Taiwanese flocking to the beach? Perhaps for the same reason we all go to the beach...to do absolutely nothing but feel like we're doing something. But ain't it fun? I'm looking forward to it in Australia. G'day mates!

Paintballs, Rock Walls, Fun For All!

I went paint balling for the first time in my life with my fellow foreign teachers on Sunday. It was a lot of fun but I don't see why I would do it again. The first game, we played 4-on-4, guys against girls. We played inside of a square field with about 16 little fence walls on each side. The second game, we played inside of a more rugged course. This one had berms with trees planted on them as cover. There was also a flag in the middle that one team had to race to grab. The third game, we played against a group of 12 Taiwanese that were there also. We lost pretty badly but it was still fun. After paint balling, we also had a barbecue. During this, one of the Taiwanese came over and he wanted to meet us. While I was attempting to talk to him, one of my friends said "he wants to arm wrestle you." I was thinking, yeah this is just what I need. So he beat me soundly in arm wrestling, as well as the drinking competition that ensued.

We also played a lot of the miniature basketball game, and they had a rock wall which I horsed around on too. That was fun but I'm definitely not a natural like someone in my family...Dad. After that, we went a rode some go-carts. For me this was definitely the highlight of the day. These go-carts seemed like something that'd be illegal in the US but I'm in Taiwan so that's convenient. They had 250 CC engines which were very fast and loud, but it was awesome. I had an epic showdown with my friend Chris but he took me down in the last few laps. We're no longer friends. Well, I'm just joking but I am indeed bitter about the loss. It was a cut-throat competition.

We did have a driver from the paintball place that drove about an hour to pick us up in Linkou, then he drove us to paintball. After paintball, he drove us to the go-carts about 15 minutes away. And then he drove us back after that, another one hour drive. Apparently, because it was Mother's Day, they weren't as busy as usual so he had the time for us. He did make sure to run every red light he could while driving. Oh, Taiwan. One cop did stop him and he made a joke or something and then the cop let us go. It must've been a good joke!

Other than that, no real significant highlights. Well, at school today, a student got his head stuck in a railing for about a minute. That was pretty funny. I'll potentially have a big weekend this weekend so perhaps some good stories are on the way. In less than two weeks though, I leave for Australia so there'll be good stories after that for sure. In the meantime, try a round of paintball or climb a rock wall...

I did post a bunch of pictures from paint balling so check those out!

What does that woman have? She has nothing

Today, I got lost. I got new directions on how to get to my Chinese class in Taipei that are much quicker than the route I'm used to taking. I was happy on the way there because it saved time. On my way back, however, I assumed that the bus would take the same way back to Linkou but that was a bad assumption to make. I walked to where I thought the stop would be and I didn't see anything. I walked down the street for about a minute before realizing I wasn't going to see another stop for awhile. I walked to the nearest bank, and luckily the security guard spoke English. He got together with three bank tellers and they drew a map for me explaining where the stop would be. I thanked them, and then went on an 8 minute walk down the street. When I got there, again I didn't see a bus stop. I walked up to a cop and asked him if he spoke English. He shook his head, so I started pointing at buses and said "Linkou" repeatedly. He told me directions I thought I understood, but while he was talking, a Taiwanese woman came up and said "do you need any help?" Then she started telling me new directions. While she was talking, another Taiwanese woman driving on her scooter stopped, got off, and also asked me if I needed help. The first woman then walked off as this new lady was trying to help me. She said the bus stop the others were referring to was there like 6 years ago so she wasn't sure if it'd still be there. She told me to go the nearest MRT station and ask them where the bus stop was. She even wrote down in Chinese what I needed to know, and she gave me her phone number in case I needed help. I thanked her and walked to the MRT station. The information desk lady didn't really speak much English and she told me to go to a bridge and the stop would be there. I had just come from a bridge so I went back to where I had been. I went back there and wandered around for a few minutes before finding a bus stop....but it was the wrong one. I had been out of class for about an hour at this point. I was hot, confused, and frustrated, although mildly entertained at the same time. I waved a cab town and he drove me home. The cab cost me $470 NT. The bus would've cost me about $45 NT. Oh well, these things happen. Now that I look back on it, I cannot believe how nice all of the people were. Too bad, their work was for naught. Maybe something was lost in translation...

The title refers to a page in my textbook for teaching. I added a picture of it. It's really funny, but strange too. Why are they teaching this?

Please go to the kitchen...the government is here

I just finished eating a piece of candy that my doorman Mr. Hur gave me. It tasted sweet but it also tasted like a bullion cube at the same time. It was strange to say the least. So I've been out of the loop the last few weeks. I've acquired some sort of sickness that's been fairly debilitating. I've had it for about 3 weeks now but luckily it feels like it's getting better. When I first arrived, my co-workers told me that everyone gets sick about 3 months into their arrival in Taiwan. It's my 13th week here so that pretty much is right on time. I thought my iron-clad immune system would be able to stave off the infection but I was sorely mistaken. I have a funny story with going to the doctor though. I went last Friday to a clinic to ask about my cold. I was in and out in about 10 minutes after telling them my symptoms. They gave me a medicine that they said should cure my ailment in 3 days. It did not. So I went back to the same clinic on Monday, telling them that my cough had moved into my lungs. The doctor told me, "Well, I'm an OBGYN so I'm not really qualified to recommend a treatment for you..." Wait, wait, an OBGYN? Yup that's right. Why they didn't tell me that's what they were the first time is beyond me. It would explain why there were posters of the female anatomy everywhere and why there were only women in the waiting area. It was one of those "only in Taiwan" moments. They sent me next door to another clinic. This new clinic told me that I have developed some sort of asthma. I don't think asthma is contagious but perhaps I had something else and it developed into asthma. Whatever the reason, I suspect it's from the air here. It's pretty sad that the air is so bad here, especially on such a beautiful island. What's weird is I don't feel asthmatic at all, but I do have congestion in my lungs. My health feels like it's on the upswing since I began taking the medication they gave me so I guess that's a good sign.

Oh well...hmmm other highlights. I'll admit after reading my sister's posts, my life now seems a lot more boring. But I'll scrape what little material I have from the bottom of the barrel and keep typing. On Tuesday, we had the police come and inspect the school. At 9 AM, my boss came into the office and said to the teachers and me "excuse me teachers, please go to the kitchen. The government is here!" This was a classic moment. So we hid out in the kitchen in exile for a good 20 minutes while the police scoured the school for suspicious activity or something like that. Luckily, the reason why I'm still typing this blog in Taiwan is because they did not find the "white people" hiding inside the school.

We had our school fair last Saturday which was a lot of fun. I had the pleasure of being the MC for the occasion. That was pretty cool. The class cheer I performed with my class went really well too. I played the tune to "Louie Louie" while the kids sang about their class. It was cute. Then the kids went and played about 6 different games that the teachers at the school set up for them. One of the highlights was the game that involved sliding beer mugs across a table without going off the edge. They decorated their room with Heineken bottles. That was a classy move, especially at an elementary school. The foreign teachers had a game called "Principal Pitching" which involved throwing balls at pictures of teachers and knocking them over. Our first attempt at making these pictures was thwarted when our boss, Christine, decided to take about a dozen pictures of herself making ridiculous faces which she then printed out and gave to us. We promptly corrected this mistake and updated the pictures with different pictures of all the teachers.

Other than that, no other fascinating news from this side of the world. Hopefully this upcoming weekend will be more eventful than the last and provide more juicy material for the blog. Maybe some good pics too. I'm getting pumped for going to see my sis in Australia...about two weeks away!